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Eulogy Tips

Eulogy Tips

At some point you may be asked to prepare a eulogy for a person who has passed away. We have complied a brief guideline to help with the planning process.

Whether planning a service or preparing a eulogy, understanding more about a good eulogy is worthwhile. A well-crafted speech intended to commemorate a loved one who has died, and is incorporated into a funeral service.



Tips for Preparing

  • Inform the funeral home you would like to give a eulogy
  • Be brief. A eulogy should be no longer than 5-6 minutes.
  • Talk to friends and family to identify special memories
    • Childhood memories
    • Favorite song
    • What was deceased like at work
    • Favorite accomplishments
    • Favorite memory
  • Write out the eulogy.
  • Speak from the heart.
  • Practice the eulogy.



Guidelines

  • A eulogy commemorates a life well-lived
  • A eulogy is neither a toast nor a roast, nor is it a time to speak to life's unfairness.
  • If humor is used, take great care to ensure it is meaningful and appropriate.
  • Think about the deceased and the relationship you had. Recall where and when you met, things you did together, and humorous or touching memories.
  • Share a few uplifting memories. Reference a couple of significant events. Reflect on a few values and passions. It is okay to bring up difficult times, especially if they demonstrate positive values and/or have a happy ending. If unsure about sharing something, review with those closest to the deceased.
  • Demonstrate values and traits with stories. Describe an elaborate party. Share a favorite adventure. Share an example of generosity.
  • Do not chronicle an entire life.
  • Use large print and have more than one copy. If it is more than one page, have each page organized and numbered.
  • Eulogy should be positive, to the point.



Avoid

  • Avoid Saying, "It was God's will." or "It's for the best." Such statements make no one feel better.
  • Avoid minimizing the loss. That also makes no one feel better.
  • Do not share inside jokes. The eulogy should be easily understood by all who will hear it. No one should feel uncomfortable.
  • Forget that you are honoring a loved one's life. Stories of childhood antics, prom dates, pranks or other shenanigans rarely speak to the treasured values of a loved one. Again, no one should feel uncomfortable.
  • Do not make it about you; it is about the deceased. Never say, "I don't know how I will go on" or Always remember that the eulogy is about the person who has died; it is not about the person who is delivering it.



Final Tips

  • Arrive early to the service
  • If there is not a microphone, practice how loud you will need to speak to be heard at the back of the space.
  • Review with the clergy person or facilitator of the service when you are to speak. Is it after a specific reading or song? Are you going to be introduced?
  • Remember to look at the audience as you speak.
  • It is okay to show emotion.
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Phillips Funeral Home and Cremation Services
Phone: (248) 437-1616
Fax: (248) 437-2902
122 West Lake Street (Ten Mile Road), South Lyon, MI 48178


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